


Cal´s hopeless Crush

by lovesimonfanfic



Series: Garrett & Cal [1]
Category: Love Simon (2018), Simonverse | Creekwood Series - Becky Albertalli
Genre: 5 times 1 time, 5+1, Getting Together, Getting to Know Each Other, Happy Ending, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining, Unrequited Crush, slight bullying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 16:08:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17287247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovesimonfanfic/pseuds/lovesimonfanfic
Summary: 5 times Cal is hopelessly crushing on Garrett and one time his crush might not be so hopeless after all.





	Cal´s hopeless Crush

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fanfiction I ever wrote so I hope you like it.  
> Also wanted to thank my best friend for proofreading this and always believing in me.

1.  
A loud clatter had everyone in the cafeteria turning their heads in search of the source of disruption only to land on Garrett Laughlin, who apparently pushed his tray of the table while animatedly telling a story. This wasn´t a rare occurrence, because Garrett is very overeager and goofy most of the time which then results in lots of clumsy accidents. That is why no one is particularly surprised when they realize what happened and after a few snickers most people turn back to their food and previous conversations.  
  
Not Cal though, he was busy staring at the goofy boy who´s now picking his tray of the floor while unapologetically laughing at himself. Again, these kinds of things happen too often for him to still get embarrassed about it. Actually, one of Garretts clumsy incidents was what started all of this. This, meaning Cal´s hopeless crush.  
  
It had happened the second week of their freshman year, right here in the Cafeteria. Cal was precariously balancing his tray full of spaghetti in one hand while talking to Taylor and making his way through the packed Cafeteria in search of a free table, when suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere someone had crashed into him with full force. They had landed on the cafeteria floor in a tangle of limps and covered in tomato sauce.  
  
It took Cal a few moments to realize what had happened and by then the other person had already got up again and extended their hand to him while franticly apologising. Cal took his hand and came eye to eye with this cute and totally flustered boy. “Shit I am so sorry. Are you okay?” the other boy asked concerned. It took Cal an embarrassingly long time to shake himself out of his stupor and stammer out that he was indeed okay. That’s when Taylor had decided to intervene with a cough and a “Maybe you guys should go to the bathroom and clean yourself up a bit before it stains”. That was when he realized they were still the centre of everyone’s attention and his shirt was covered in tomato sauce. He looked away quickly from the other boy and hid his oncoming blush behind his blonde bangs.  
  
The rest was mostly a blur, but he does know that they did end up in the bathroom next to the cafeteria building and after it was clear that his white shirt was destroyed the other boy, who turned out to be Garrett Laughlin, had pulled off his hoodie and insisted for Cal to take it. For the rest of the day Cal had been unbelievably giddy and, even though he would deny it if someone asked, had slept with Garrett´s hoodie that night and all remaining nights of the week before the hoodie lost its smell and he reluctantly returned it. That had been the beginning of a very confusing sexuality crisis and a hopeless crush.  
  
They were now in there senior year and Cal had tried everything to get over Garrett. He dated a few girls and once even developed feelings for Simon Spier, before he ditched Cal for Garrett´s best friend Bram. But in the end Cal always ended up back where he was in the beginning, starring at him and fantasizing about the way Garrett had blushed while apologising to Cal and how his hoodie had smelled of fresh grass, too much axe body spray and something that only could be described as Garrett.  
  
And so, Cal was still staring at Garrett even though he had already resumed whatever conversation he had with his friends. In fact, he probably would have continued his slightly creepy staring for the rest of Lunch if it wasn´t for his best friend Taylor ramming her elbow into his rips, rolling her eyes and whispering “you´re drooling” which elicited giggles from Sasha and Brianna and a scowl from Cal. At this point all his friends knew about his pathetic pining because he had admitted to it during a game of truth or dare the summer before sophomore year and also because it was painfully obvious so now, they never missed an opportunity to tease him about it. Taylor was the only one who sometimes got annoyed about it, but only because she and Cal had been best friends since they were five and she cared so much about him that she just couldn´t bear the idea of Cal getting hurt because his feelings weren´t requited.  
  
Cal was very aware of the hopelessness of the situation, so he never allowed himself to even dream about the what if´s that would never in a million years happen, because after all Garrett was straight.

 

2.  
Still, even that knowledge didn´t stop Cal. It wasn´t like he could just turn off his feelings for the other boy. Even if he desperately wanted to do so. Because after all that´s not how feelings worked. And so, Cal and Taylor found themselves at Creekwood High´s first soccer game of the season. They were cheering on their team, even though neither gave a single fuck about soccer or school spirit.  
  
The only reason for them to even be there in the first place was that Cal really wanted to see Garrett play, but he had been too shy and awkward to go alone. So, he had begged his friends to come with him and because the others weren´t able to make it, Taylor had let herself be dragged here. She had pretended to be annoyed, but caved immediately, while grumbling “Couldn´t you fall in love with a music nerd or someone who´s into indoor sports.” Cal would have to repay her for this later, with an insane amount of waffles at WaHo, but that was totally worth it to get to see Garrett play soccer.  
  
God what was it about jocks that made them so hot? It was like Garrett was a totally different person during these games. Not in the way in which seemingly nice guys turn into assholes as soon as they hang out with their jock friends. More in the way that Garrett, who normally was the personification of the words clumsy and goofy, became very focused and determined. He was completely absorbed into the game and how he made his way through the opposing players to score a goal could almost be described as graceful.  
  
Of course, there was also the physical aspect. There was no point denying that one of the reasons Cal was into Garrett was simple physical attraction. Garrett had always been good looking with his ocean blue eyes and a dimpled smile, but he also had strong calves, broad shoulders and a slight six pack from years on the soccer team. And no one could hold it against him, that he only attended these events to ogle a specific soccer player, because Cal was positive that about 95% of the female audience was also here for the players and not the game. Or in Taylor´s case in moral support of pathetically pining friends.  
  
“Dear god I can´t believe I spend my Friday evening nearly dying of hypothermia and boredom, just so you can mentally undress that idiot.” grumbled Taylor.  
  
“Hey, that´s not what I am doing, and you know it. I am just here to support the school team.” said Cal, his eyes never once leaving Garrett.  
  
Taylor huffed “Sure you are. Just like…”, but she was cut off by Cal and the other students cheering. Bram had just passed the ball to Garrett who had scored the winning goal seconds before the referee ended the game.  
  
“Well does this mean we are finally allowed to leave? I seriously can´t feel my feet anymore and I can´t afford to get ill. You know auditions for the school play start next week. I can´t believe you would risk my future, success and general happiness for some stupid crush.” Cal rolled his eyes fondly but followed her down the stands anyway. Taylor might seem blunt and slightly narcissistic to most people, but she was actually a really good friend.  
  
As they were about to leave, they passed the soccer team. Most of the guys were shirtless and Cal might have been momentarily distracted by a certain person. It only took this minor distraction for him to trip about his own two feet and to faceplant into the slightly wet and muddy grass, yanking Taylor, who had linked her arm with his, down with him.  
  
“Dammit Cal” Taylor hissed while getting up “This is so not worth it.” And yeah maybe she was right and it wasn´t worth it. Garrett had barley acknowledged his fall, because he was to busy flirting with Chloe Carter. Maybe he wasted his time and maybe he would get hurt in the end, but that still didn´t change his feelings one bit.  
  
Which is exactly why Cal could never hold this against Garrett, because after all he also couldn´t change that he was straight.

 

3.  
Of course, Garrett wasn´t only hot and cute, if that would have been the case Cal would have gotten over this silly crush years ago. The thing that really had him hooked, something that only very few people knew about Garrett, was how intelligent and interesting he was. Sometimes it seemed as if Garrett tried to actively hide that part of himself from the rest of the world. He would put on his jock persona at school and that would convince most people that Garrett was nothing more than a semi-douche with below average intellect who was only interested in soccer.  
  
Now, Cal spent a lot of his time non-creepily staring at Garrett, thank you very much. But still he could never really get behind why he only shared such a little part of himself with the world. Sometimes Cal wondered if it was a purposeful reaction to being scared that no one would care for his true self and desperately trying to blend into Highschool cliques or maybe it was an subconscious thing and he didn´t even realize that he withheld so many interesting facts from the world or maybe Garrett only put on this façade with people he didn´t really know like Cal and people like Bram always got to see his true unfiltered self.  
  
If the latter was the case Cal was undoubtedly jealous of Bram and Garretts other friends… Not that he wasn´t always jealous of them for being allowed to exist in close proximity to Garrett (even though he realized that it was incredibly irrational and stupid) but if he knew they got an exclusive inside to what was going on in that pretty head, he wasn´t sure if he could deal with that.  
  
He wanted to know so bad what was going on in his brain at all times. Because even though Call was attentive enough towards Garrett that he realized there where hidden depths, Garrett was still guarded enough that he was sure he only scratched the surface on what Garrett had to offer. Still there were some facts Cal had gathered over the years.  
  
Number one Garrett had a huge interest in history. Cal realized this Sophomore year when they had worked on a group project for world history together. Back then Cal would have been happy to do all the work himself and let Garrett get the A if it only meant that they could spend some time together. At first it looked like that was what was about to happen until halfway through their first meeting when Cal had been searching for the date of the fall of the berlin wall and Garrett had muttered “November 9th, 1989”  
  
“What?” was Cal´s perplexed and highly intelligent answer.  
  
“The fall of the Berlin wall was on the 9th of November 1989” said Garrett patiently  
  
“Oh great, where did you find that information?”  
  
“Ehm… I just kinda know” and then after an awkward pause he asked slightly unsure of himself “Isn´t that common knowledge?”  
  
He seemed almost embarrassed, but then Cal shot him an encouraging smile and he smiled back. After that Garrett had contributed more to their project and they had earned an A. From there on Cal had payed especially close attention to Garrett in world history. He quickly realized that not only was he paying attention in this class, instead of disrupting the teacher with funny remarks or getting distracted by basically everything like in any of their other shared classes, but he also was a straight A student in world history.  
  
The second fact that stood out to Cal about Garrett was that he was a huge music nerd. He was almost always humming some song under his breath or drumming a beat with his fingers on any available surface and what Cal liked the most about it was that it was never a top 10 pop song, but rather some indie or alternative song he didn´t think other people had even heard about or sometimes he might not even have heard himself. Cal always looked forward to these instances, because while Garrett might not have been an amazing singer, he just looked so cute and completely lost in thought when he did it. Like today.  
  
Cal was spending his free period in the library and coincidently found himself at the same table as his crush. Garrett, who was obviously only here because he was finishing some homework last minute, was humming a song under his breath. Cal, who only recently had endured a serious lecture from his friends about how he should either get over his crush or finally talk to Garrett to realize he wasn´t at all like the dream version and then get over his crush, decided it was worth a shot and asked Garrett “Is that “Follow me into the dark”?”  
  
“What?” Garett looked up, totally startled and Cal immediately regretted all his life decisions that led him to this moment, but decided that now it was too late anyway, so he repeated “The song you are humming under your breath, is it Follow me into the dark by death cap for cutie?”  
  
“Oh, eh yeah it is, I recently discovered them and been listening to their album “Plans” nonstop. Did you know that Stephanie Meyer listened to their song “Soul meets body” while writing the host, which by the way is one of my favourite sci-fi books of all time… if you haven´t read it I would totally recommend it, it is a masterpiece and absolutely nothing like twilight… eh I mean not that I would know I obviously haven´t read twilight, but I think for all the hype twilight has been getting, her other work is definitely underrated and why? Just because it has no shirtless sparkling vampires? Well maybe I am just biased because I love sci-fi so much. When I was a little kid my older sister used to watch Star Trek and Star Wars with me, so it will always have a special place in my heart….” Garrett trailed of before starting again “Omg I totally started rambling. I am so sorry, you didn´t ask for any of that info. You probably only wanted to ask me to stop humming, I am sorry I sometimes start doing it without realizing but I will make a conscious effort to stop it now and I will also stop rambling now… sorry that I bothered you”  
  
Cal took a second to process all that new info before hurriedly trying to reassure Garrett “Oh no you didn´t bother me at all, it was actually kind of cute”  
  
Oh no OH No OH NO NO NO NO NO… FUCK… Cal looked down at his hands praying to every deity that might exist to kill him now. Why did he just say that out loud? That was exactly the reason Cal had never dared to get close to Garrett, because he had absolutely zero self-control around the other. What the fuck was wrong with him? Garrett was probably totally creeped out and would start shouting at him any minute.  
  
When he didn´t get shouted at, but instead was meet with stunned silence Cal started looking up carefully. Garrett wasn´t looking at him but at the table, biting his lip and… blushing? No, that couldn´t be happening. That was probably only Cal´s hopeful thinking mixed with the bad lighting in the school library.  
  
“Thanks” mumbled Garrett and then before Cal could even attempt to say anything “I should probably get back to my essay now, because it is due tomorrow and I have next to nothing” he bit his lip and smiled slightly “but it was nice talking to you Cal, we should definitely do that more often.”  
  
Cal could only muster a shy smile and a “Sure” as a reply and then Garrett was already staring at his Laptop again and going back to humming Death cab for cutie under his breath.  
  
For the rest of his free period Cal couldn´t bring himself to do anything except stare at the wall and store this new learned knowledge in his extensive Garrett folder in his brain. So, Garrett was nerdy about sci-fi, that was cool and nothing special…. Oh, who was he kidding, he was already planning on binging Star Trek tonight only to be able to talk to Garrett about it should the opportunity ever arise. God he was so, so fucked. That much to his friends’ easy plan of talking to him and realising he was just a jock and getting over him. Instead it seemed he had only fallen harder, if that was even possible. And now he was unnecessary hopeful even though he knew Garrett blushing meant absolutely nothing. Even if he had told the truth and really had enjoyed talking to Cal and even if he really had blushed it meant absolutely nothing.  
  
Because even if he had, at the end of the day he was still straight.

 

4  
Cal felt as if it was steadily getting harder to deal with his feelings for Garrett, because Garrett was an incredibly sweet guy who did all these cute things and every time he did something sweet hope would bloom in his chest and every time it got harder to kill said hope.  
  
For example, when Cal had started liking Garrett in freshmen year, he had simply told himself that Garrett was straight and would be disgusted if he found out that a guy had a crush on him, or even just that Cal liked guys in general.  
  
And sure, at the time it had hurt and had certainly not made it easier to come to terms with his sexuality, but it was an effective way to keep his feelings at bay. But then Bram Greenfield, Garrett´s best friend in the whole world, had come out as gay and had started dating Simon Spier and Garrett had not treated them any differently than before and had been nothing but supportive.  
  
If someone had the audacity to even say the slightest thing about Bram, Simon, their relationship or LGBT+ people in general, Garrett was always the first one to tell them of. Not only did it warm Cal´s heart every time, to see the guy of his dreams defend LGTB+ rights and people and therefore, in a way, defend Cal but now he also couldn´t use his excuse anymore to dampen his feelings.  
  
Now he knew that Garrett wouldn´t care the slightest bit if he found out that Cal was bisexual. And even though he couldn´t know for sure how he would react if he ever found out about the crush, Cal doubted that Garrett would be a dick about it. Even if it made him uncomfortable, he probably would let Cal down gently and not make fun about something Garrett knew Cal couldn´t change about himself. Not that Call planned to ever tell Garrett about his hopeless and frankly embarrassing crush in the first place. No, he could perfectly live without that humiliation.  
  
Suddenly Cal was ripped out of his thoughts because someone had forcefully pushed him against a locker. He sucked in a breath and looked up at Spencer laughing down on him.  
  
“Hey faggot” Cal flinched at his harsh tone. He wasn´t officially out at school, but it wasn´t exactly the best kept secret either and him being friends with only girls or gay guys made many of the homophobic guys assume he liked guys. It wasn´t like he was ashamed of who he was, but this was Georgia after all. So, he had decided he could stay in the closet a few more months until after graduation if it meant he wouldn´t be the prime target of their harassment. Still sometimes when Spencer or one of his idiot friends was bored and no one better was around, they decided that Cal seemed gay enough to make fun of.  
  
Cal swallowed when he realized that he and Spencer were completely alone in the deserted hallway. Of course, it was just Cal´s luck that the one time he skipped on lunch to do something for the next school play he ran into Spencer.  
  
“Hey, I am talking to you faggot. What are you doing here all alone?”  
  
“Come on Spencer just let me get to the Cafeteria I am already late” he tried to reason with him, but this was apparently the wrong thing to say because the next thing he knew was Spencer´s fist connecting with his shoulder and he crashed into the locker again.  
  
“Don´t talk back to me like that” Oh god he would get beat up here in this lonely school hallway.  
  
“Hey what are you doing?” they were interrupted by a very familiar voice. Cal didn´t know if he should feel relieved or embarrassed, because Garrett was definitely going to help him, but then again did he really want to be humiliated in front of his crush?  
  
Spencer smiled at Garrett “I am just teaching Cal a little lesson. Do you want to throw in a punch too?”  
  
“Sure, I am in the mood to punch someone” What, oh no, maybe Garrett wasn´t as cool with the LGBT+ community as Cal had previously thought, maybe his tolerance was just enough to be okay with Bram and not everyone else. Cal closed his eyes and a whimper escaped him as Garrett pulled back for the punch. At least this would get rid of his crush once and for all. He couldn´t like someone who punched him for who he was, he wasn´t that pathetic but god it hurt so much and he hadn´t even been hit yet.  
  
He flinched when he heard a fist connecting with flesh and it took him an embarrassingly long time to realize he hadn´t been the one who had been hit. He carefully opened his eyes and what he saw just didn´t make any sense. Spencer was on the floor holding his bloody nose and staring up at Garrett completely shocked “What the fuck is wrong with you?”  
  
“No what the fuck is wrong with you, why do you think it is okay to hurt someone for something they can´t change? Why are you so angry that you must let it out on others?” Garrett seethed “You know what? I don´t even care, whatever your reason may be, it isn´t an excuse to treat other people like that. And now you better fuck of or you will find out what my punches feel like when I am really angry. And just for the future, don´t you fucking dare bother Cal or anyone else again.”  
  
Spencer got of the floor and to Cal´s surprise nearly ran away while still holding his bloody nose with one hand. Cal released a breath he hadn´t realized he was holding and slid down, along the wall until he was sitting on the floor, his knees not being able to hold him up any longer.  
  
“Hey, are you okay?” his voice was so soft, and Cal was basically melting.  
  
“Yeah sure, thanks by the way” Garrett smiled at him “It´s nothing really”  
  
“Nothing? You probably broke his nose”  
  
Garrett came to sit next to him “Well he deserved it. He has no right to hurt you for something like that. He doesn´t even know you, he just uses these stupid stereotypes to feel superior.”  
  
“He is right tough, I am Bisexual.” whispered Cal, looking anyway but into Garretts eyes.  
  
“So? There´s nothing wrong with that and I will never understand why Spencer is so threatened by that, as if you or any other guy would ever come onto him. I think he highly overestimates his looks.” That made Cal chuckle and Garrett give him a small satisfied smile.  
  
“You sure you´re definitely not hurt” asked Garrett slightly worried.  
  
“I´m fine mom” Cal rolled his eyes “He only punched my shoulder and I think I got away way better than he did” They smiled at each other and for a moment just looked into their eyes, but their little moment was quickly disturbed by the stupid school bell announcing next period was about to start. Garrett got back onto his feet extending his hand towards Cal “Come on, we should get going”  
  
God dammit why must Garrett be such a sweet guy, now that he literally saved Cal like a damsel in distress there was no chance of ever getting over him.  
  
Even Taylor had to admit, after Cal had told her the whole story during their Spanish class, that it was a really nice thing to do and maybe she had been wrong and Garrett wasn´t like all the other braindead jocks.  
  
At the end of the day the whole ordeal had brought them 2 weeks of after school detention, even after Cal had tried to explain to the principle that they weren´t the villains in the story but that Garrett was the hero and he the victim. In the end he had believed Spencer, after all he was the one with the broken nose and Cal had felt terribly guilty until Garrett had flashed him a big toothy grin and said  
  
“Oh please that was totally worth it. Also, did you see Spencer? He looks like he´s a trust fund baby who just got her first nose job”  
  
And then what choice did Cal really have but to laugh and accept that Garrett had a huge heart, and nothing would stop him from protecting others who needed it even if it got him into trouble. And how was Cal supposed to kill the little inkling of hope blooming in his heart, when he knew Garrett accepted him for who he was, and Garrett had hit another guy to protect him and how could he ever think about something else when he knew what Garrett´s blue eyes looked from up so close. He was hopelessly pathetic and sulking, because he was well aware that nothing of this meant something to Garrett.  
  
He was just being his lovely caring self and he didn´t think about what it meant to Cal because he was obliviously straight.

 

5.  
The two weeks of detention passed by quickly and on the last day Cal decided to approach Garrett. Well, it wasn´t really his own decision and more the result of his best friends pestering him for two weeks about how he needed to use this chance to get closer to Garrett. So here he was standing in front of Garrett only slightly trembling.  
  
“Hey” Garrett smiled at him.  
  
“Hey Garrett, so I was thinking, I still feel kinda guilty about getting you in this mess” Garrett opened his mouth to start protesting, but Cal didn´t let him “Which is why I wanted to know if there was any way I could make it up to you, like invite you to WaHo or something else?” Oh god did that sound like he was asking him on a date? Omg what is Garrett thinking? Is he uncomfortable, because he thinks Cal is coming onto him?  
  
He was totally spiralling, and his anxious thoughts were only interrupted by Garrett “Yeah sure I´d like that and WaHo sounds lovely. Do you wanna go right now? Because I missed lunch and I´m kinda starving”.  
  
And so, they had ended up in a little booth in the back of WaHo eating ungodly amounts of Waffles and talking for almost 5 hours. After that evening, they gradually got closer and closer and spent an ever-increasing amount of their free time together. They became really good friends which was a blessing and a curse at the same time. On one side Cal couldn’t believe he got to spend so much alone time with Garrett on the other hand his crush became almost unbearable. Well, who could blame him, he was already crushing from afar but now he was in so close proximity to Garrett and he got to see all his favourite aspects of him up close and it was torturous.  
  
If you would have told Cal a few months ago, that Garrett would be on his way to just casually hang out at Cal´s, he would have laughed in your face. But now it was happening, and Cal was only casually freaking out.  
  
What if Garrett judged his room or what if he said something incredibly stupid that gave his feelings away? Before he could spiral even deeper the doorbell was ringing and he welcomed Garrett into his home. Garrett´s eyes wandered all over the house and the pictures on the walls all the way up to Cal´s bedroom. And even tough Garrett did it with a soft smile it made Cale incredibly self-conscious, even more so once they were inside his bedroom. They had hung out a lot, but mostly at the cinema, WaHo or other public places and twice at Garretts and that had been totally fine. There was just something about Garrett being in his room, taking everything in carefully while plonking down on his bed that felt weirdly intimate to Cal.  
  
“You have a piano?” Garrett seemed really excited about that.  
  
“Hm…? Oh yeah, I use it to prepare the songs for the school productions”  
  
“Oh right, you not only manage that whole chaos troop you also play all the songs on the piano. Sometimes I totally forgot how fucking talented you are”  
  
“It´s not that spectacular”  
  
“Oh please you always undersell yourself Cal, when I used to play the piano, I could only focus on one song at a time and it would take me weeks to properly learn it and as soon as I started on a new one I already forgot about the last one again, so I have absolutely no idea how you can play a whole show.”  
  
“Wait you know how to play the piano?”  
  
“Yeah… well… I mean kinda…? I took lessons all trough middle school. I´ve rarely played since, so I probably can´t play anything anymore.”  
  
“Oh please, now you have to play something for me. You can´t just reveal you´re a musical genius and then not show me.” he gave Garrett his best puppy look, who just rolled his eyes in response.  
  
“I never said that I was a musical genius, if I recall correctly I just said I sucked really hard, but if it makes you happy I will try to play something for you.”  
  
So, that´s how they ended up sitting on the piano bench together with Garrett trying to play some weird song Cal couldn´t make out because it was so bad.  
  
He giggled “Wow you really didn´t exaggerate when you said you sucked. Please stop abusing my piano.”  
  
“Hey!” Garrett playfully shoved him with his elbow. “I warned you, but you wanted this, so you have absolutely no right to make fun of me or my artistic abilities. And anyway, if you think you´re so much better, you have to prove it.”  
  
“Okay let me show you how it´s supposed to sound.” Cal bit his lip and started playing one of the songs he recently learned.  
  
“Wow” said Garrett once he finished the song “I take it back. You have every right to insult my musical skills. That was beautiful and you didn´t even need sheet music. What´s that song called?”  
  
“Oh thanks.” He could feel how the blood was rushing into his face tinting his cheeks with an obvious blush and he prayed that Garrett wouldn´t notice even if that seemed impossible with how intensely Garrett was looking at him and how close they were sitting on this small bench, so close in fact that he could feel the heat radiating off of Garretts skin. Just thinking about it made Cal painfully aware of all the places their skin was touching and that made him blush even harder.  
  
“It´s “Empty chairs at empty tables” from les Misérables, one of my favourite musicals.”  
  
“I don´t know that one.”  
  
Cal could only gape at Garrett. “What do you mean you don´t know les mis. I know this isn´t really your territory, but come on its les Misérables, how can you not know that? Like not even the movie? It has Aaron Tveit and George Blagden in it and it´s fucking iconic.”  
  
“I´m sorry…? And now I am almost afraid to admit that I don´t know who Aaron Tveit and that other guy are”  
  
“Omg” whispered Cal disbelievingly.>> “Okay let´s do it”  
  
“Do what?” asked Cal dumbly.  
  
“Watch the movie. I mean you clearly think it´s blasphemy or something to not know it and now I’m kinda intrigued, because if you are that passionate about it, it has to be special… so, let´s just watch it now.”  
  
“Okay” Cal agreed and 10 minutes later they found themselves sitting on Cal´s bed, leaning against the headboard being even closer than before if that was even possible, with Cal´s laptop playing les mis on his knees and a bowl full of popcorn on garrets lap. Throughout the movie Cal carefully and anxiously watched Garretts reactions. He was right, this movie was special to Cal and it was important to him that Garrett liked it at least a little bit. To his absolute delight Garrett got really invested into the movie and was really sad about the tragic deaths of the les amis. “Omg why did you set me up for heartbreak?” he questioned, sounding absolutely devastated.  
  
Only towards the end his attention started to fade and by the time Cosette and Marius had found Jean Valjean Garrett was fast asleep, his head resting on Cals shoulder, who didn´t allow himself to move in fear of waking him up. Now this incident was something he could never tell his friends about, because the first time he had watched les mis with them Sasha had also fallen asleep close to the end and Cal had sulked about it for 3 days. Now however Cal couldn´t bring himself to be annoyed at Garrett, when he was sleeping on his shoulder, so close that he felt his soft huffs of breath on his neck and was completely engulfed in the wonderful aroma that he hadn´t smelled so intensely since Garrett had lent him his hoodie freshman year.  
  
Cal never wanted this moment to end, he was perfectly contend watching the end scene of one of his favourite movies with Garrett sleeping on his shoulder, which was something that Cal never would have believed would be something he could ever experience. Of course, this also allowed new hopes and fantasies to pop up in his head. Hopes and fantasies Cal couldn´t allow himself. Because sure, Garrett and him were getting closer and sure, they had more in common and topics to talk about than he ever would have imagined and sure, Garrett felt comfortable enough to sleep on him. But if he knew how Cal really felt about him, he probably wouldn´t feel so comfortable anymore, because for him this was only platonic and nothing more.  
  
Because after all Garrett was still straight, right?

 

6.  
If Cal had thought, he couldn´t handle Garrett sleeping on his shoulder than he definitely wasn´t ready for what was about to come. Because one thing Cal previously hadn´t known about Garrett was that he was a really physical affectionate person and he basically lived on touches and cuddles and the closer they became the more Cal got to experience this new side of Garrett.  
  
It started with light touches, hands on shoulders, hugs, Garrett basically sitting on his lap or pulling Cal in so he could rest his head on Garretts lap while they watched Star Trek reruns on tv, Garrett acted as if it was the most normal thing in the world for them to cuddle all the time, so Cal just went with it even tough he could never get used to it and every time he feared Garrett would be able to feel his heart beat a million miles per hour and see right through him, but Garrett never said something about it so Cal counted himself extremely lucky.  
  
Cal was just finishing up his essay for English when his door opened, and Garrett stood there. This had also become a normal occurrence. Garrett just turned up at his house when ever he felt like it without announcing it beforehand, especially when Garrett was sad, or something was weighing heavy on his mind. He would just come over, cuddle Cal and then they would watch random videos on youtube or talk about anything just not the reason for Garretts sadness. Cal had tried asking him the first few times it had happened, but Garrett had always closed himself off immediately and tried to change the topic. He had learned pretty quick not mention it and just be there for him. So, he just opened his arms and welcomed Garrett into a hug.  
  
“Cats or Dogs” he asked.  
  
“Cats, definitely Cats” said Garrett.  
  
Cal retrieved his Laptop and opened a new tap with cute and funny cat videos and then went over to the bed where he let Garrett manhandle him into a more comfortable position. Garrett was sitting against the backboard of the bed and pulled Cal in between his spread legs. Cal leaned more into his chest while Garrett wrapped both his arms around his torso. They started the video and sat in companionable silence. After awhile Garrett took one of his arms away from his torso so he could sift his hands carefully through Cal´s hair. If Cal would be one of the cats he would definitely be purring by now.  
  
Suddenly Garrett decided to speak up “Thank you.”  
  
“For what?”  
  
“For always being there for me. I know it´s probably annoying when I turn up here all the time and then I don´t even tell you what it is about, but you are so kind and never force me to speak when I am not ready. And it really helps me you know, being here with you. It helps me to think and work through stuff. So, thanks.”  
  
“Always.” Cal smiled “And just so you know, I like it when you just turn up to spend time with me. And you don´t have to tell me anything, if you don´t want to.”  
  
“I want to though. I am just not sure where to begin.”  
  
“Well take your time and when you´re ready I am right here and ready to listen to your problems.” For a moment they just sat in silence, Cal paused the Cat video, so he could focus 100 percent on what Garrett had to say once he was ready.  
  
Garrett broke the silence “My parents are terrible homophobes.”  
  
Wow that was not what Cal had expected, he thought that Garrett had problems with a girl or fought with his parents about school or something else a teenager should worry about not something like this. Nobody should deal with judgemental parents and Cal knew that his parent’s bigotry probably hurt Garrett a lot because he was so close to Bram. Now it was as if the floodgates had opened and everything Garrett had kept inside for the last months came out all at once.  
  
“We get into fights about it all the time and I am honestly not sure how long I can take this anymore. You know them saying all these horrible things about people I care so much about.” Cals heart hurt, Garrett sounded so upset and he had absolutely no idea how he could make it better for him. Cals parents had always been supportive and he didn´t know how he would handle it if they weren´t.  
  
“They even tried to stop me from talking to Sam.”  
  
“Who´s Sam?”  
  
“She´s my older sister, last year she got married to another woman and since then they cut off all communication to her and told me so many horrible lies about her. They probably do it to get me to resent her too, as if Sam wasn´t the only real family I ever had. They never cared about us, they only care about the image of a happy family and keeping up their perfect façade in front of their friends. And then when they found out that Bram was gay, they forbid me from seeing him again so I don´t catch the gay or whatever and now I can´t talk to him about my shitty family because he would feel so guilty, even though nothing about this is his fault and I just can´t bear the idea of him being upset and thinking that he´s the problem when he´s really not. Just because they are scared of everything that’s not like them, they honestly think that I could become gay by hanging out with Bram” Cal squeezed his hand to show his silent support.  
  
“But you know,” Garrett continued silently and suddenly slightly insecure, pressing his forehead into Cals shoulder. “Jokes on them. I am already Pansexual.”  
  
Cal didn´t know what to do, he felt like he was hit by a fucking truck, Garrett was Pansexual, and Cal was freaking out on the inside, but this was Garretts coming out and he should be there for Garrett in this difficult moment instead of being so selfish and only thinking about how this had doubled his chances with him. Garrett deserved that.  
  
“Thanks for telling me and you know,” Cal squeezed Garretts hand again “your parents suck for making you feel that way and it´s their fault for not realizing how awesome you are.”  
  
Garrett mumbled something that sounded vaguely like thanks. For a while they just enjoyed the moment and Cal thought they had finished their serious talk when Garrett, spoke up once again, sounding very tentative. “I don´t know if this is gonna make things weird between us but I think you deserve to know that you were kind of the reason I figured out I wasn´t straight, because I had a pretty big crush on you in junior year.”  
  
OMG he couldn´t breathe. That couldn´t be true. Garrett had had a crush on him? Him? But he was nothing special. Nothing made sense to him anymore.  
  
Still, he tried to play it cool and asked nonchalantly “When did you stop?”  
  
“What do you mean?” Garrett seemed confused.  
  
“You just said you had a crush on me, had as in past tense so I was just wondering what made you stop.”  
  
Cal was pretty proud of himself for pulling himself together and not hyperventilating. Finding out the guy you had a crush on for over 3 years and thought was straight wasn´t so straight after all, and at some point in time even had a crush on you, but you were to oblivious to realize so you probably missed your chance with him, was a lot. He was honestly surprised he hadn´t went into cardiac arrest yet, but the longer the moment went on the more jittery he got.  
  
Finally, Garrett broke the silence by whispering “I don´t think I ever stopped.”  
  
At this point Cal was pretty sure he had died and was now being tortured in hell, but if that was the case, he could at least try and seize the opportunity without fearing any consequences. Cal gathered up all his courage. He turned around in Garretts arms, trying to look into his eyes to see if he was telling the truth, but Garrett couldn´t even meet his eyes. Garrett was biting his lip and looking down while a pretty blush coloured his cheeks. Later Cal wasn´t sure what had provoked him to do what he did next, maybe it was the adrenaline, maybe it was the pent-up frustration of crushing hard on someone unattainable for nearly 4 years only to finally snap. All he knew was one moment he was unbelievingly starring at Garrett and the next moment he crashed their lips together. It was probably pretty abrupt because the other gasped, therefore breaking the kiss only to dive back in a second later and reclaim Cals lips. The kiss was sweet at first but turned more intense pretty fast. Garret moved Cal so that Cal was straddling Garrets lap and they only broke the kiss, because they needed to gasp for air.  
  
“You have no idea how long I wanted to do that.” Cal was panting for air and Garret just smiled pulling Cal impossibly closer and rejoining their lips in a sweet kiss. Dear God, in that moment Cal was so fucking happy and he couldn´t believe his luck. After all this time and all his hopeless crushing here, he was kissing the boy of his dreams, something he never allowed himself to imagine.  
  
Because he had always thought he would never requite his feelings, but as it turned out Garrett wasn´t so straight after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading my fanfic, kudos and comments are much appreciated.  
> I am planning on making this a series and writing more parts about Garrett and Cal so if there is anything in particular you want to read feel free to tell me.


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